Doggie Approved

Today, 35 weeks!

Pregnancy Update  

I am 35 weeks today and feeling great!  The doctors said everything looks good, nothing new.   We are still looking at delivering during the first week of April when I am 38 weeks.   Philip and I have been busy taking some baby prep classes.  We took a two part newborn care and safety class, we took an infant an child CPR class, and I have a breastfeeding class that I am taking tomorrow.  The classes have been good because they have given Philip and I a chance to prepare for this whole parenting thing together.  I've finally started trying to wrap my head around the fact that we will have a baby in three weeks.  THREE WEEKS! I don't think that will totally sink in until Caroline is here.  Ya know maybe two weeks after she is here and she is crying and I'm trying to figure out what to do.  Then it may sink in that I can't just pass her back off to her parents...I will be her parent!  I can't wait :)  I had a lot of anxiety this past week regarding labor and delivery.  At this point if I go into labor they aren't stopping it, she's coming and I want her here ASAP so my fears of loosing her in utero can be put to rest.  However, the main thing the cardiologist said was we need to make sure her lungs are totally developed.  The heart defect alone we can deal with but underdeveloped lungs on top of that...not a good combo.  So I really want her to stay in until 37 weeks when she is considered full term.  Then she can come whenever she wants.  Needless to say when I had irregular contractions all Tuesday night (very normal at this stage in a pregnancy) I kinda freaked out at first.  My emotions were conflicted, some hoping to go into real labor and some thinking stay in stay in!  Well she is staying put for now which is good.  Check out my growing belly from this week.

33 weeks 5 days 

34 weeks 

34 weeks:  Zach are you excited about baby Caroline?

Baby Tour

Well Philip and I are feeling as prepared as anyone can hope to be to bring a baby home.  We have the stuff and it is all cleaned, organized, and put away.  The car seat is installed, the hospital bag is packed in the car, and the doggie has had the chance to sniff everything and approve.  While we wait for Caroline to get here we thought we would have Zach test everything.  Check out the photos of Caroline's room, her stuff, and Zach testing them out.

Look what I painted!

Here is the elephant in the bathroom.
I hot glued green ribbon around the edge.

Receiving blanket I made for Caroline.
Now she has a large blanket and a small blanket from mommy :)

He is all ready to go for a walk in the stroller!

Car ride anyone?

All packed and ready for the hospital.

Someone is stinky ;)

These shelves have a lot of special things on them.  The blue star mirror was a present from my Big in my sorority, I bought the believe sign right after we found out about her heart, the Caroline sign, Marie blocks, and large C were all presents at the baby shower, the duck was mine as a child, and the pink plaque that says "Why work when you can play?" was given to me by my dear roommate Liz who passed away 2 1/2 years ago.

Is somebody sleepy?

Zach's favorite place in the house.

All labeled and organized.
Note:  This is for the first year not just the first couple of months.  

Look what Mommy found for only $7.50 at a consignment sale!

Thank you Auntie Kathleenie!

Pack and Play/ Bassinet

Zach was not injured or hurt during the making of this blog post.  Like I've said before, he has put up with a lot this past year and is my perfect little furbaby.  Plus, we wanted him to have a chance to check out all the baby stuff that has been added to the house and taken over his spaces.

Have a great week!

Love,
Megan

Baby Shower!

Well I have been a Lady of Leisure for 2 weeks now.  I have accomplished quite a lot in the last two weeks.  The first couple of days flew by as I cleaned my house and hung out with friends and family in preparation for my baby shower.   While most of this post will be gushing over how amazing my shower was I figured I should start with a pregnancy update.  

Pregnancy Update

Today I am 33 weeks 5 days.  We have been to the doctor three times since my last post and had our third and final trip before I deliver to the cardiologist.  Caroline looks great!  Last week she was 4 pounds 3 ounces!  She has been head down for the last month and feet in my ribs for the past week.  She has been kicking and moving around so much that my tummy and ribs are sore!  From what they can tell she has a FULL head of hair (see picture below) which would explain my horrible acid reflex.  Seriously, I get it from water! Every time we have gone in they have caught her practicing fetal breathing (basically practicing using her lungs which makes them stronger).  She also keeps doing adorable things.  Two weeks ago as the ultrasound technician showed us a 3D image of Caroline we watched as she snuggled up, gave a big yawn and stretch, and had a look on her face of complete happiness and peacefulness.  My eyes teared up as I watched her do that.  Pregnancy is so weird because the first half you don't feel anything except yuckiness.  The second half you feel rolls and kicks but it is hard to connect those feelings with the fact that you will soon have a baby in your arms.  Watching Caroline snuggle up and look so happy filled our hearts with joy and made us even more excited for her to get here!  Phil's mom came with us this week to the doctor.  Caroline was being shy at first, putting her hands in front of her face, but then she moved them so her Grandma could see her.  We even saw her sucking on her hand!  The doctor thinks that she possibly tried to stick her thumb up her nose too.  Hmmmm we will have to work on that.  It meant a lot to Phil and me that his mom was able to see Caroline.  The other fabulous news was that the cardiologist saw nothing new on the echocardiogram.  At our second appointment he thought he had seen a small increase in regurgitation between the ventricles and the atria.  On Monday he saw NO increase.  He also said that everything else looks like it has developed completely normally!  It was great to have such a positive appointment with him.

A lot of people have asked me whether I can deliver naturally or will I have to have a c-section because of her heart defect.  Right now the plan is to deliver naturally.  They think her heart is strong enough to withstand a natural birth and everything should be fine.  What my doctor and I have talked about is that we are taking no chances.  If she flips and is no longer head down I will have a c-section.  If during labor her heart rate drops or there seems to be stress on her at all, c-section.  Basically I've told her I don't care what she does, just get this baby out of me alive and healthy.  I really don't want to have a c-section but what is most important is Caroline.  Her health trumps everything else.  

31 weeks 3 days...look at her opening her mouth!

BIG yawn!
31 weeks 3 days

HAIR!!!
30 weeks 5 days

Baby Shower

My best friends from college Jaimie, Jackie, and Blair were amazing and hosted my BEAUTIFUL shower at my home over President's Day weekend.  It was a long road for me to agreeing to have this shower.

After loosing Emily it was not easy to have stuff and a room ready for a baby and then having no baby.  My wonderful neighbors/bunco friends had thrown me a shower a week or two before I lost her.  My mom and I had gone out shopping and bought some adorable clothes.  The room was painted and the furniture was on its way.  Then we lost Emily.  Now I had a drawer filled with clothes that I would never be able to dress Emily in.  I had a few toys that she would never play with.  I had a room that she would never sleep in.  I had a heart that would always ache for her and arms that would never get to hold her again.  That sucked. Two months later (her due date month) I also had a chair, a dresser, and a crib.  That sucked even more. We put the dresser and chair in her room but left the crib in the box.  There was many a day that Zach (our dog) would get rocked in the chair or read to or just snuggled with while I cried.   Needless to say I didn't want any more stuff sitting around waiting for a baby to come along.  When we found out in August that I was pregnant again I sat in the baby's room even more.  I kept looking around and thinking, will we actually get to use this this time? During the hurricane in August we put together the crib.  It was great but it was also sad.  I had a hard time having it up.  Then we went to Italy.  I was able to get away from my fears and sadness and enjoy some quality time with Phil and experience an amazing adventure with him.  When we came back the baby's room no longer made me feel sad.  I was excited but still had nerves.

As the fall progressed Phil and I talked about it more and we decided that we could handle the baby shower.  Neither of wanted to deal with having a house full of even more baby stuff that wouldn't get used but we knew we couldn't live like that.  We were so excited for Caroline to get here and wanted to share that excitement with our family and friends.  This was another Emily fear that I was overcoming.  We lost Emily a week before my baby shower that my girlfriends were throwing last April.  Now I was going to agree to it again and a small part of me feared that I was going to loose Caroline a week before this shower.  I pushed those fears aside and called up my friends and told them I agreed to have a shower.  

WOW what an amazing shower they threw.  My dining room was turned into a onesie decorating room and my whole downstairs exploded with pink.  Pink flowers, pink decorations, pink gifts, pink punch, pink wine, pink cupcakes...poor Phil.  It was great to have Caroline's grandparents, old and new co-workers, Richmond friends, and close by family (Thank you Aunt Shelly, Danni, and Sarah from coming from the Hampton area!) all together celebrating.  I was really excited and surprised when my cousin Melanie called a week before the shower to tell me that she and her husband Jeremy were going to drive out from Indiana for the shower! Melanie is about 5 months older than me and she has been like a second sister my whole life.  She too is pregnant, about 6 weeks behind me.  It was killing us that we weren't going to get a chance to see each other while we were both pregnant.  Well with the nonexistent snow this winter Melanie and Jeremy were able to make the LOOONNNGGG drive from Indiana to Richmond.  About 30 minutes before the shower we had another surprise, Phil's grandmother, Aunt Nancy, and Uncle Darrell showed up!  We were so excited to have even more family there! All in all the shower was amazing.  It went by too quickly.  I wish I could have spent more time visiting with everyone.  Thank you to everyone that came and helped us celebrate Caroline.  Thank you to those who had a quick drive and those who had LONG drives.  Thank you to everyone for the love and support.  Thank you to Jaimie, Jackie, and Blair for putting together a beautiful baby shower that I will always treasure.  Ya'll are amazing :)

Love my friends :)

hmmmm ladies...why do I have veggie cups in my cabinet? 

My sister says that she loves all the pictures on my blog so here you go Kathleen...lots and lots of baby shower photos :)  If anyone else attended and has photos from my shower I would love copies of them.  Thanks!

Look at the ADORABLE diaper wreath Jaimie made!

Look at that fabulous food table!

Pink beverages!

Onesie decorating!  It was a HUGE hit!

A few of the adorable onesies!

Auntie Kathleen working hard on her onesie for Caroline

We were overwhelmed by our family
and friends excitement and generosity.

Caroline's Great Grandma Jeanne
made her two beautiful blankets.

I felt the need to model the adorable crab outfit.

Hello pink ruffle bathing suit!
 She is going to look so darn cute in it!

Clearly super excited

Pregnant ladies!

Leigh and I are only 3 weeks apart!

My cousin Melanie and I...6 weeks apart!

Goetz women :)
Melanie, Mom, Kathleen, and Me

Many of the friends and family that came to my shower :)

Lady of Leisure

Today was my last day working at the Children's Museum of Richmond.  It was very bittersweet leaving but I am looking forward to staying home with Caroline.  I came to the museum feeling burnt out and discouraged by the public school system.  I leave the museum feeling inspired by all that teaching has to offer.  I like to say that I fell in love with teaching again.  I was able to work with my team to take the time to come up with quality lessons that taught the state standards but also expanded on them and brought them alive.  This was something that always frustrated me about the public school system.  There was never enough time be it in the day or in the pacing guide to do what I really wanted to do.  

I am going to greatly miss the museum staff but especially my education team coworkers.  They have been invaluable co-workers and friends.  When we lost Emily I never once felt like I had to rush back.  They shared the burden of being "down a man" like it was no big deal.  When I came back they helped me ease back into having to be around pregnant women and little babies (They are everywhere there!).  It was not easy to one day be excited to see newborn babies and their mommies exploring the museum imagining myself being one of them, to the next being jealous of those same mommies and babies and imagining what it would have been like with Emily.  

Since I became pregnant with Caroline they have been my daily support to all the ups and downs that this pregnancy has had.  They rejoiced with me after every positive doctors appointment and supported me as I have dealt with every curve ball.  If I was having a rough morning they would step in and help me out no questions asked.  I have always felt loved and supported by them.  They have helped give me the strength I have needed to keep going.  From simple words of encouragement, to quiet actions, to encouraging me in my faith, I feel incredibly blessed to have had them as a daily support system in my life.  Thank you ladies :)  

Many people have asked me when I plan to go back to work.  The answer is I don't know.  Right now I am being called to be a stay at home mom.  For how long, I don't know.  If I have learned anything this year it is to put faith in God's plan.  I try  to remind myself daily to put my life in his hands and to let him lead me.  This has not been easy for a planner like me.  All I know is God has a plan that is better then anything I can imagine, so I'm going to stick with that.  Part of me feels called to eventually be a preschool teacher, part of me feels called to get more involved in church Children's Ministry or preschool, yet another part of me feels called to somehow merge my pregnancy experiences with my career experiences.  I figure as Phil and I embark on this next chapter in our life together, God will help show me the path that I am meant for.  It takes a lot for a planner like me to just hand over the reigns but honestly it feels freeing and less stressful than trying to figure it out on my own.   

For the next six weeks or so I will be a "Lady of Leisure".  I will be trying to get some extra sleep (that is becoming more and more difficult at night,) to prepare the house for Caroline, to begin the emotional transition from working to staying at home, and to relax.  After all we've been through this past year the best thing I can do for Caroline is to be relaxed.  I also plan on finding all kinds of fun activities for Caroline and I to do around Richmond and at home.  I have dreams of eventually transforming our dining room into an awesome play room.  So watch out pinterest followers, I will be pinning away toddler activities :)  

Hello stay at home mommies, Megan is joining you :)

Love,

Megan

He has no idea how much his life is about to change in just a few short weeks.

Caroline and I got all dressed up for Valentine's Day.

I look like I stuck a basketball under my shirt.
(31 weeks 2 days)

Philip had these delivered to me at work!

My co-workers made me this adorable diaper cake.

29 weeks 1 day

29 weeks 1 day was the point in my pregnancy with Emily that we found out we had lost her.  It is a day that has haunted me for the past 10 months.  I quickly figured out with this pregnancy when I would be 29 weeks 1 day and it has sat in the back of my mind all pregnancy long.  Will we make it that far again? Will I lose another child at that point? Even the days and events leading up to the day that we lost Emily have haunted me.  I was nervous the day that I started making Baby "C"'s blanket because when I did that for Emily, I lost her.  I was relieved that bunco fell on a different weekend because I had been out with my lovely neighbors playing bunco and feeling Emily kick me the night before we lost her.  I didn't wear a dress I had worn the week before we lost Emily.  Yes it may be superstitious but I don't care.  You associate weird things to emotional and traumatic events.  Well I am happy to say that I have completed Baby "C''s blanket, I have played bunco, I plan on wearing that dress this week, and Baby "C" is kicking up a storm thank you very much :)  Oh and by the way, I am now 30 weeks 2 days!!!!!!!!

While those and many other things make me think of Emily I refuse to let them hold me back.  In fact I'm doing quite the opposite.  I decided within days of delivering Emily that I still wanted to make her blanket.  All I had been able to do was cut all the fabric the morning we lost her.  I wasn't going to let it just sit there.  I wanted to still make it for her, for me, for Phil.  It is beautiful and something Phil and I treasure.  While making her blanket I decided that this was something that was incredibly therapeutic for me and something that I wanted to share with other mothers of stillborn babies.  So I have been busy making receiving blankets to donate to St. Mary's hospital.  Phil and I delivered my first 4 the week before we went to Italy.  The evening of 29 weeks 1 day for Baby "C" Phil and I went to back to the hospital but for a happy reason.  We delivered 4 more blankets.  It felt so good to be able to walk around the labor and delivery ward and not be a patient.  One of the nurses even gave us a private tour of the Mother/Infant wing because we hadn't gotten that far in our birthing classes with Emily.  St. Mary's is so amazing.  It was great to be able to ask questions specific to Baby "C" and her health concerns and to be open about our emotions regarding our memories there of Emily.  For example, we didn't have to go anywhere near the room I delivered her in.  I don't know if I will ever be able to go back to that room.  In fact if that is the only room available when I am in labor this time then I'm going to refuse to go in there.  I will sit in the hall and labor out there if I have to.  Hmm maybe I can kick another pregnant lady out of her room.  I'm kidding, kinda.

My doctor has been amazing through all of this.  We spend most of my appointment time discussing my emotional state.  It means so much to me that she is understanding of my emotions.  She constantly reassures me that I can come in whenever I want to get checked on.  She especially emphasized this when she knew 29 weeks 1 day was coming up.  I felt at ease knowing that I could just show up, hear her heartbeat really quick, and then be on my merry way.  Luckily I didn't feel the need to do that :)  I heart Dr. Tyson :)

Speaking of doctors I had another appointment last week.  Everything is looking great!  The main yucky thing about last week was that my glucose test came back elevated so I had to go back for a second test, a 3 hour long test.  UGH!  Luckily those test results came back NEGATIVE!  Thank goodness because I didn't want to add gestational diabetes to my list of pregnancy "fun".

The last thing I wanted to share is a little news we have..... Baby "C"'s name!  The top guesses have been Catherine, Caroline, Charlotte, and Claire.  Well drum roll please.........Baby "C''s name is...........

wait for it

wait for it

wait for it

wait for it

Caroline Marie Noakes!!!!!

We love the name because it is soft, feminine, and traditional.  Since this post is already kinda long I will share how we decided on her name and the fun ways we told our families at Christmas in a later post :)

Phil and I can't wait to hold our sweet Caroline in 8 weeks!

Love,
Megan

I made this to hang on Caroline's wall.
Painted wooden letters glued onto framed fabric. 

29 weeks 6 days

29 weeks 6 days

Some of the blankets I made.  The front is patchwork and the back is fuzzy.

Another blanket.  I forgot to take a picture of the fourth one.
I roll up each blanket and tie it with a ribbon.
Then I tuck in a hand written note to the mother.